


Counting

by honeybeau



Series: Peter's Messy Life [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bonding, Family Bonding, Panic Attacks, Protective Tony Stark, Sad Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23148622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybeau/pseuds/honeybeau
Summary: Tony confronts Peter about how he knew the exact days since Aunt May’s death, realizing the boy truly did not have closure.Trigger Warning: there will be a written panic attack scene so if that is something that may affect your mental wellbeing, please do not read this (if you’re wondering why something so dark, it’s because I’ve been having them more and more and had to vent it out. This story is pretty much me getting out of my system my grief and coping with my anxiety pretty much)
Series: Peter's Messy Life [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1385410
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Counting

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the late update! I've been incredibly busy with school and everything, so I'm really sorry in case some of you were looking forward to this. Aside from that, everyone be safe! Wash your hands, drink plenty of fluids (water and tea, especially), wash your hands some more, and at this point the government in the US wants us to stay inside so do that. Watch Netflix or something (Disney+ has Frozen 2 and I've been wanting to watch it since it came out, so I'm probably going to watch it given this extended Spring Break I was given lol).

“Bye, Ned! See you next weekend!” Peter waves off his best friend as he steps into his mom’s car. They spent the night before watching The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the Jurassic Park movies, and (they’ll never admit to it) Hercules, as well as some other Disney movies. They went to bed around 3:00 am and slept in until about 10:00 am, where they munched on a breakfast made by Steve. They then proceeded to work on one of Ned’s personal projects involving him making his own indestructible, unhackable software. They worked on that for several hours, as well as watched Vine compilations on YouTube until 3:30 pm, when his mother drove by to pick him up.

“Yeah, see ya, Pete! Had fun!” Ned’s mom waves him goodbye as well as Ned as they go off into the distance, to their apartment. Peter sighs and walks back into the Compound and heads to the living area, where the Avengers are sitting and talking. He picks a seat next to his father and leans on his arm, where Tony wraps one of his arms around him, the other holding up a newspaper. Peter maneuvers himself to laying the back of his head on his father’s lap, sighing. 

“You ever had a best friend, hang out with them, and when it’s time for them to leave, you feel the entirety of the world crush your hopes and dreams?” Peter asks, looking up at the ceiling; Tony rolls his eyes at him.

“Stop being dramatic, you’ll see him Monday.” Pete scoffs at the statement and moves himself more, trying to make himself comfortable. The others laugh at his antics.

“Pete, honey, stop fidgeting. I’m trying to read.”

“Dad, honey, stop reading. I’m trying to fidget.” Peter quips, only for the older man to roll his eyes at him once again. He quickly sits up and walks over to the loveseat, in which Steve is sitting on reading a book; he decides to lay his head on his lap. Steve doesn’t seem to mind the sudden pressure and uses one of his hands to go through Peter’s hair.

“I like this cushion, it’s less whiny and helps calm me down. Like someone could have done but wanted to read a paper.” Tony sighs and sets the paper down and walks to the two and motions for Peter to sit up and Tony makes him lay his head down on his lap and runs his fingers through his hair.

“Pete, are you okay? You’re acting kinda weird.”

“‘M fine…” Tony doesn’t buy it and that becomes obvious to Peter when his hand stops raking through his hair. 

“Pete, don’t lie to me.” Peter sighs and sits up, walking towards the door, beckoning Tony to come with him. His father follows and the two go up to Peter’s room where the teen sits down on his bed, looking down to the floor.

“When Ned was over and it was bedtime, I had a dream about her. Where I was with her, there to protect her from the accident. Ned tried waking me up and I called out for her but she never heard me. He finally succeeded in waking me and from there on, we talked. I tried not to speak of the dream but of course, he had to make sure I was okay. He said that I worry him and I told him I’ll be alright but at this point, I don’t know if I will be. He said I should get help and I told him I have him, but he said professional help. We stayed up a little more, talking about some random things, but we got tired quickly. We finally went back to sleep, ate breakfast, and Ned tried to keep my mind off of the dream, which worked, but now that he’s gone, I feel kinda… off.” Tony nods as he listens to his son, heart aching at the sadness evident in his eyes. Then, he remembers something from the field-trip the day before.

“Why did you keep track of the days?” Peter looks at him confused then remembers him telling everyone the exact time since May’s death. He could tell the exact time since, to the minute.

“I… I dunno… it’s just that time has always been cut short for the people I love. First, my parents, then Uncle Ben, then Aunt May. In order for me to remember them, I have to remember the time since they suddenly left me. It’s just… how I am. I may not remember much about my parents but I do remember the date in which they died. I remember a ton about May and Ben, including the date and time in which they died. I have to. I just, I don’t know why, but I have to. I-I can’t not do it, if I don’t-” Peter starts panicking, his breath quickening in pace. Tony holds onto his son and tries to calm him down.

“Pete, baby, breathe. Please, just breathe. Match my breathing.”

“I-I can’t, I can’t breathe!” Peter eyes clench shut, tears spilling out. He slides onto the floor in a panic and Tony goes with him, holding onto him without trying to scare him.

“Yes you can, sweetie. Just match my breathing.” Tony places the teen’s hand on his chest to feel the rising and falling, murmuring in his ear to calm him down. Slowly, Peter comes down from his panic attack and cries into his father’s neck, sobs wrecking Tony’s heart and soul.

“D-Dad, what did I do?”

“You had a panic attack, Pete. Shhh…. It’s okay.”

“I’m sor-”

“No, don’t apologize. I never really put it together but you never really did find closure from this, did you? You never let yourself truly feel and the events from yesterday and last night caused you to… well… fall apart.” Tony winces at his wording, his conscience telling him his son will not take those words well.

“Dad, I-I have nightmares constantly, all of them real to me but I-I never did that before. Why did I have a… you know…?”

“Pete, there is no shame in having a panic attack. Even I have those sometimes. C’mere, we’re going to sit on the bed, okay?” Peter nods and Tony helps him up and the two hold an embrace, Peter unraveling in his arms. His cries continue and his father holds him close, focusing on the fact that his sweet boy has been suffering before his eyes and knew nothing of it.

“Pete, baby?” The teen nods in his father’s chest, still sniffling from crying. After about ten minutes of calming down and silence, other than his father murmuring sweet things to him, Peter takes in a deep breath and feels himself start to become drowsy, from the tears and the panic attack.

“Please understand that no matter what, I am always here for you. I’m your dad and I hope that you trust me enough to take care of you?” He sits in silence, processing what his father said to him and smiles into his chest, knowing of his support system.

“I do, Dad.”

“Promise me that you’ll talk to me anytime you need me, no matter what I’m doing.”

“Sure, I’ll burst into your room at 3:00 am.”

“If you need to, promise me you will? I don’t want you to suffer in silence anymore.” Peter looks up at his father, eyes half lidded and smiles once more.

“I will, dad.”

“And promise yourself that you will give yourself time to process, time to heal, and to not expect or allow others to expect from you, immediate healing. It takes time to begin to heal, and even more time to actually do so. It’s a constant process, and you need to be patient with yourself. Heck, even I’m not fully healed from my parents passing. Promise yourself patience?”

“Mhmm, I promise.” Peter says, half listening to his dad and yawning.

“I love you, Peter.” Tony says, smiling warmly at the teenager cuddled into his chest, who has fallen asleep. He further lays himself down on the bed, holding the other tight, and soon, he drifts off into a blissful sleep knowing his son will be alright.


End file.
